Fear...

Handicapping. Fear makes you question everything that you think you are and think you can be. Fear is my biggest enemy right now. Fear of failure. Fear of the unknown. Fear of judgment. Fear. Plain ol', all encompassing fear.

I have been thinking a lot lately of my life and what direction it will take. I know I should seek God more in this part of my thought process, but it is way too scary to do that. What if He wants me to actually do something...? Yeah, that's my fear. Do something. It's so much easier to just stay put and continue on the path I'm on right now. But it is also so much less satisfying and fulfilling to just stay on this path. I know I can do more, I know I'm meant for more...so why am I so afraid to try? If anyone has any answers, I welcome them.

I have been challenged by a dear friend to embrace the fear I experience and do something about it. He is not letting me sit by idly and just be an onlooker on life. He understands feeling paralyzed by fear. He is paralyzed by it himself. We are going to push each other to do more, to live more, to fail more if that is what it takes to move forward and try to be what we are meant to be in this life. I'm so thankful for this friend, and I am not going to allow fear to rule my life anymore. I made a promise to this friend to make steps, albeit small steps, to figure out the path God has carved out and he will do the same. We are going to support each other in these endeavors, and hopefully be there to see the success that will come from trusting God and trusting others.

I am excited (and still incredibly terrified...) to make these small steps to be better than I am now. I have seen incredible growth in some parts of my life lately, and it is time to make some decisions and continue to grow in more areas of life. Stay tuned...time to kick this fear's ass...

Love,
Yenn